Christ in us

Well it's my last day at the Hacienda...in about 28 hours I'm supposed to be at the airport in Guayaquil waiting to get out of Ecuador. It'll be mixed emotions. Alaska is my home and I do miss it. It drives me nuts that the sun goes down at 615 every evening. No change. But it's a good note to end on, hence the title. Maria asked me today why I wore a cross on my neckless. A couple of the girls have asked before but I really couldn't put it into English words, much less Spanish. Today I didn't think, just spoke in Spanish (I actually had to think to put it back in English)... I told her Christ lives in our hearts. "Aqui y aqui" Here pointing to my cross, and here pointing to where it would have been on her. God lives in me? she asked. I told her shocked face "God lives in you" a couple times before going on to say He's in all of us. I told her it was a reminder for me and a little physically present thing to fiddle with when I'm confused or nervous or need more strength then I have. She was bound and determined to hug me through the entire breakfast then. Poor girl, I eventually told her she needed to eat.

I've gotten my Spanish to the point where I can communicate pretty effectively now, although not always gramatically correct or as fast as I'd like. Last night I translated how to play Canasta to mixed language company. Someone else could have, but it fell to me and went great. I explained again to someone else today. I feel good about that, but tomorrow is Guayaquil and they talk funny down there! I was really hoping to work at that same clinic again but it fell through so I'm now in a bus dilema with all the times off and ackward. Spiritually I don't know why the clinic didn't work out, that's were I felt the most used and at the right place through this entire place. But like Ross said when he left it isn't for us to always know the whys. Maybe I'll run into and encourage someone tomorrow that really needed it. I hope so.

Los Dios en la manana

Left to right Me, Jhon, Katy, Jorge, Maria, Dayana, Gladis (I spelt some of their names wrong the first times)




A pretty lazy morning here. I got to practice my Spanish a bit. it always seems to get better when I travel. This time I got around rather easily and even helped some other people. I got to talk to Martin and Lorena about God a bit. Mostly about family and showing through love. It's hard to explain the difference between just religion and knowing God and Christ in English....much less in Spanish. I also read some of the Acts (Hechos) in Spanish this morning and found out James is Santiago is spanish. I would have never known except for the order.

I got to play football with the oldest kids and Martin for a bit too. I think that shows more of God's love than talking, I hope so anyway. Leo (Leonela the oldest girl) is starting to warm up to me a bit. At first she literally ran away. Tomorrow night I leave, I hope I can befriend her before than...she seems really afraid.

A couple days of fun...

Yup, I took a couple days to do some of the things I used to do everyday. First off, I climbed my highest mountain/volcano yet! 14,500 ft! Honestly I had no idea the change in oxygen levels occured that drastically. HDE is at 10,000ft and I wasn't having any problem although others had been complaining about it...but then Tyler, Matt and I drove back and up from the camp with all the kids for a picnic lunch. The kids stayed with Larry and Charlene who have been filling in as house parents while Tyler, Matt, and I took on Mt. Matador(?). I really could not believe how my legs could go so easily but my lungs were burning. We still made it to the first summit rather easily, but called off the second 20ft from the top on the grounds that we had no rope and I've given up stubborn stupidity. I know some of you are saying yeah right back home, but at least temporarily and when others are with me I evaluating risks at little more conservatively. I'll post more pictures later...maybe after I get back.

Then Friday afternoon after finishing my sewing work and some playing, Tyler and I took off for Tena. The house parents were returning from vacation on Saturday and it was good to give them some time to get everything back to normal. So Saturday morning we joined up with 3 Minnesotians (I know start of a bad joke), a rafting guide from the Grand Canyon, a guy from the Netherlands driving from San Fransico down through South America for 10 months, and about a dozen absolutely crazy Britsh folk to take a 38km Class IV whitewater trip down through the Amazon jungle. That'll spoil me for a few years. Actually the water was a little low so the rapids were probably closer to Class III and we had really strong, good crew on our boat. We purposely went backwards down rapids so we could paddle hard back into them and surf. Then a little over half way through our guide (who kept throwing the other girl in the river) decided to let the Patrick the Grand Canyon guide guide the rest of the way. More of a challenge that way. We purposely spun the raft in circles going down one of the falls. And then at the end decided we could be a pirate ship and overthrow one of the British rafts. The other girl was the lone Britian on our boat.

After a great dinner that night everyone decided to go to a local music bar/club. I went along partially because I didn't want to be the only one but also because most of them had asked why I was in Ecuador and I didn't want to paint the picture of religion, legalism, and rules instead of freedom in Christ. The group that went rafting was completely into getting drunk and partying. I thought that it be best to show that you could have a good time without going over board. Anyway, the club got packed shortly, I had no interest of being there, was not having any fun, and my shoulder that was sore from rafting was getting yanked on like crazy from people trying to get me to dance. I left rather early, was not able to say good-bye to anyone, and had to walk back to the hostal alone (which was most likely better than staying at the club) I'm not sure if God didn't want me to go at all or if I just wasn't relying on the Holy Spirit enough to stay. On the bonus side I was the only one in the morning without a hangover!

I'm back at the HDE now and it's bedtime for the kids and I want to be respectful of the house parents who are still letting me stay even though they're back. Buenas Noches.

Pictures of the kids...don't miss the following post either

Ross carrying Gladis, Maria, and Deanna


Juan (or John) and Larry and Charlene


Gladis, Maria, Deanna, and me


Ross, Gladis, and Deanna


Ross, Gladis, Deanna, and Maria (there the three youngest so naturally the most touchy and the lightest)


John, Jorge, and Katy playing monoploy (the short version)


John, poised and ready to attack--I dare you, turn your back!

Family life abroad is cool

Another day at the HDE (Hacienda del Esperanza for short). I didn't get to play with the kids today :-( I actually spent the entire day sewing but the school curtains are done so the kids will have no glare on their computer screens. I can't believe they even have computers at a third world country orphanage school. I actually got really frustrated for a short while today. I wanted to come here and do something special. Selfishly I wanted to contribute something to God's Kingdom and the people here, but all I was doing was stuff that almost anyone with a heart could do. Like I said short lived frustration...I realized that's what it was though. God doesn't need me to do his work (yes I already knew that)and neither did these people here. What they needed was anyone. Someone. Someone to step up and say I'll follow, I'll serve, I'll go wherever you want me to. Just like thousands of Christains (and to-be followers of Christ) are doing silently and loyally every day. I'm proud to be counted in that number of nameless, normal, caring people. Reading the guest book from the Vozandes Hospital volunteer house there were people coming to serve from as far away as West Africa! That amazed me. The other thing that has really been changing the way I think is the number of families that are doing this. I wanted to mention a few...

First off, in Girdwood, AK--The Rogersons. Asa and Alicia have taken their children AJ, Brody, and Skyer (9 through 6?) on a year road trip of following God's lead as literally as it gets. They are currently living in the church parking lot in an RV leading up the construction on our church for the entire summer! The joy in those kids eyes and the model of living they are learning from their parents makes me miss Girdwood right now. I cannot even begin to say what an encouragement and influence this family has had on me for this short period of time.

Then in Shell, Ecuador we have Paul, Arles, Andy and Emily as mentioned in a previous post.


Also in Shell, Ecuador--the Welch's. I've only met this family once so I probably won't get all the names right. Feel free to comment with a correction. Celeste and Keith moved down to Ecuador with their 4 children, Brooke, Courtney, Natalie, and Valarie. Just moved! To help with the orphanage down there that has 26 kids and not enough room or help or funding from what I saw. Here's the really cool thing. Their youngest daughter had major health problems, but I have been told she's looking up miracurously. I can't even fathom the faith to follow God and move my child like that to Ecuador! Yet they are being blessed... I really wish I could have gotten to know this family more.

Still in Shell although now I really don't know children's names of approxiamate ages...are the number of doctors who moved down here with their families from the states to provide health care to an area that is in so much need.

Justin and Amanda from Tabacunda, Ecuador are here with the daughter Isabel(5ish) and Illianna(1). They are from HDE and Isabel is bilingual and spends her time playing with the other kids just like any other little girl from the states...

That's what I can think of right now.

These families have shown me a great example of how families can center their lives around the good of others and God and still be normal families. What a blessing these parents are providing to their children of values, love, service, and compassion. This is one great way to combat self-centeredness. I can't wait to have my own family, maybe not to move but at least a new kind of family vacation...just whatever God calls for. And I guess that's the other key point I need to hit here. It's all where he wants us at what time. The path is never the same for everyone, or any two people. Some of us are called to remain in our home towns. There's a ton of life, light, and love needed in the US. Yet some are called to go further and I'm saying a prayer for anyone out there who is being called but is feeling uncertain or tuning it out for family safety. There are blessings and opportunities more than we can know and God's plan is the best. He says He will never refuse our prayer for wisdom. I'm praying for the wisdom of seeing his plan without bias of fear. I'll pray the same for you. Good night and God bless.

It does get cold in Ecuador

There are 8 kids at the home, 2 of them I haven't even met yet but the other 6 I'm now well acquainted with. They learned really fast that we (Ross especially) make great human jungle gyms. That's good, I'd rather have the giggles than the crying. There is Katy (10), Juan and Jorge (9), Maria, Gladis, and Deanna (6 or 7ish). And it is funny what they will say...I warned Ross I was going to post this so it's all good....the first breakfast when Ross came to the table one of the younger ones told him to go comb his hair. It's even funnier in Spanish. Then another little girl called him a cute little boy. This is one of the four girls he was carrying at one time the night before so I don't know where that came from...Then today Maria told me I was loca (crazy), when I asked her why she said it was because I was happy. It really didn't make any sense to me in that setting but it made a lot of sense in the world's viewpoint. The joy that comes from knowing and spending time with God isn't circumstantial. It's constant, never-changing. I find it easy to let my mood be dictated by the circumstances I'm in and that is what the world considers normal. yet when Im really following and walking with him those circumstances do get overruled, not by gidy happiness but by a joy that says everything else is temporary. That's seems to be where the world steps in and starts labeling "Jesus Freaks" and "Crazy" I told Maria I liked being crazy then...and if that's what it means yup count me in. I remember one of our women's bible studies where they talked about peace like a river...not stagnant, not boring, but new, adventurous, and a promise of ending at one spot. But to get there we have to jump into the river. And thinking that, I really want to go cliff jumping again.

Well back to the Hacienda, Ross left this morning to take his plane back to the states. I'll miss having him around but am definitely in the place I need to be. Justin, the associate director for the Hacienda found out I could sew so now I'm sewing curtains for the school they're building. This place is incredibly immense and beautiful, all brick, tile and handmade wood furniture, doors etc. I'll take some pictures before I leave. It is cold though. Last night I got locked out the girl's house because we were at Justin and his wife Amanda's house playing cards late and I borrow a guys computer when they all went to bed. I tried every window, door, including the 2nd floor balcony ones, knocked multiple times throughout the night. No one at the guy's place would wake up either. It was actually really strange and I doubt a coincidence. I'm not sure what was going on spiritually there, but I do know I spent an incredibly cold night on the floor as close to the oven as I could get not sleeping, just shivering. I've spent cold nights before, but usually do to my own choice camping ill-prepared. I now have a new empathy room homeless people and understand why the cardboard. (I used the foot mat at the door to curl up off the cold stone) And I have to say I'll be more likely to work and find a place for someone to stay that needs a hand...I'm glad my floor has carpeting.

Oh yeah, and today I was playing American football with the Juan and Jorge....and I caught it 98% of time, even one-handed and diving at times. That's instead of my normal 1% catch rate. The boys were all smiles too of course and I guess that's why I'm here.

just some pics for you

My walk to the hospital-rough life isn´t it!

Ross and his new friend

cliff jumping with the locals

At the Hacienda

Well I survived my three day test trial alone and am now out of the jungle. Yup with Amazon looks just like the movies...reminded me of Medicine Man. I took a bus to Tena but ended up there too late to get to raft at all. Everyone at the fire department and my parents know that I am extremely prone to motion sickness, however the first three long bus rides went great. I couldn´t believe it, really that´s a miracle to me. So I started wondering maybe I was cured and my days of motion sickness were over. God is awesome so I didn´t think that was a stretch. So I decided if I had no problems on the 30min trip from Shell to Puyo I wouldn´t take anything for the three hour trip to Tena. (I had forgotten to get it out of my packback before the other ones. I´m sure you can all see where this is going. Imagine a 3 hour bus ride with 61 people on a 40 person bus in the middle of the day in the amazon heat...going down a road just like Crow Creek Rd in Girdwood. I was the only gringo (gringa) on the bus, and it amused EVERYONE! Fortunately the bus driver allow me to sit on the floor right next to the open door 6 inches away from the cliffs on the side or drop offs. About an hour and a half into it I finally was well enough to open my eyes. WOW was it amazing. Shortly after I got kicked to the back of the bus again. Oh well it was an amazing view for a while.

We got to Tena and the only thing I wanted to do was get in the water. I found the rivers in the center of town after about an hour of being lost. there was a bridge over one where I was wading around, but I was already in the water, fully clothed, I didn´t care it felt great. So in true Alaskan fashion I walked under the bridge through waist deep water with my pack instead of the bridge. The Ecuadorians on the other side seriously loved it. However I quickly realized that I was in a fee entrance zoo so I went back to pay the guy and apologize. He told me I couldn´t have my pack and took it away. Not seeing any other good option I decided to just trust him and walked around the zoo. I found 4 boys cliff jumping into the same river and joinied them. No Mom and Dad, I have no idea what was in that river aside from water but it was well worth it and then some.

Ross and I met up later and started towards Quito and the Hacienda. We stayed in Braeza that night and made in to the Hacienda de Esperanza the next afternoon. (House of Hope--orphanage) It´s beautiful here! and the kids are fun. More later...

Left, Right, or Straight Ahead

Two days ago I had this incredibly selfish wish that I was ashamed of and wanted to not have: I wanted to spend time with someone who spoke English! Well I got my wish with mixed results, although there was still some Spanish occurances that left me embarrassed and frustrated. I left Baños early morning on a bus to Shell. There was a very nice Ecuadorian business man sitting next to me, the Spanish wasn´t flawless but it went okay. I even managed to get off at the right place! For the majority of you who haven´t rode the bus system in Ecuador it´s hard to find where you get off if its not a major stop or the end of the route. the buses really don´t stop they just kind of slow down. Where I needed to go was not a stop and I needed to be there at 8am...yeah right. I even got directions to the hospital that I was sure I understood. However after 15min of walking I came to the end of the road without a hospital. I asked someone else, got the correct directions but of course was rather late. Dr. Koleski was a very friendly and tolerant guy though (intelligent too). And he spoke English whenever the nurses or patients weren´t around. He let me ask a ton of questions and I followed him around the entire first day. I can´t even remember all the patients, but I learned a lot.

At night I stayed at the guest house ran by the hospital. there was this really cool swinging bridge I got to take to "work" over the gorge and creek. I´ll post pictures later... There was a family from Iowa staying in the house as well, hence more of my English speaking wish. Arles and Paul had been down here, I´m guessing 10 years ago for 3 years working for Aviation Mission Field with there young son (now 13) who was born here. Paul runs an airport and fixes planes. This mission flys to 200 different villages in the jungle...wow. Now they are back for 3 weeks working at la Casa de Faye orphanage with their son Luke and daughter Emily (9). The orphanage is building a bigger place on new land. I got to go see the existing one and play with the kids for all of 5 minutes. Half of them are handicap and would have been drowned in the jungle. Others are just left on the street.

Day two, surgery. Yup I got to scrub in for the first time ever. It was neat and fascinating but I preferred the patient contact with the ones that were awake more. They took out the gallbladder on a 12 year girl with gall stones. Thank you Dr. Graham for letting me watch. He also removed a occculsive cyst and sat in on a bunch of consultations. The neat thing about the doctors here is that they all talk to each other and get input on abnormal stuff. One guy who was sick went to the Shaman first and they held him over the fire to "cure" him. Ouch. He had some bad burns we looked at. Dr. Koleski said there was a lot of spiritual warfare here and I can see it. It was amazing to see some people travel 8 hours just to come to the hospital, however that´s usually after they´ve seen the Shaman and too often it´s too late.
I said the English speech was a mixed blessing...here´s the problem...I stayed in a gated community. They almost all did, it seemed wrong to be separated although I admit on one occasion with a crazy guy (the locals knew exactly who he was without me saying next to anything) I was really glad to lock the bridge gate behind me. That doesn´t mean I still wasn´t convicted about it. How do we speak love to these people when we live in there community with 8ft high chicken wire fences some with barb wire on top!

I went to say goodbye to Dr. Koleski and he started talking about God´s plan for us. He said it´s like when we write our name with our prominent hand that´s when we are working in God´s plan. When we write our name with our other hand that is how it feels when we are doing someone else plan even if it´s our plan. He went on to say it was his plan for me to go on to med school but I had to figure out what God wanted. It was nice to hear that I´d be good at it and did well with patients but I´m not sure. Everything seemed so laid out at the being of the summer and I had confirmation with the steps....yet med school has been coming up since 8th grade so who knows I might go back to school yet. Yup Mom and Dad, I know that´s what you always wanted...at least my degree would be getting used. I think it´s going to take a lot of prayer time first though. There´s some major obsticles that God could overcome but I´d have a hard time on my own. I´ll just commit to following.

A day of rest and sightseeing

Tuesday night Ross and I took a bus to Riobamba where Roberto´s family lives. After some language barriers we met up and went and had the best fried chicken I´ve ever had or could conceive of. Roberto (Roberto´s dad) and Nataly (his sister) got us settled in and then stayed up and chatted for a bit. They were a lot easier to understand than the people in Guayaquil and I had a lot of fun trying to communicate with his little sister instead of just frustration. We saw Riobamba and Guano during the day and then caught the bus to Baños. That´s where we are now. It´s a very touristy town but we got separate hostel rooms (actually hotel rooms) with their own bathroom for only $5 each. Ross is going to stay in Baños for a few more days but I´m catching the 6am bus to Shell. I have to be at the hospital at 8am. We will see how that goes. I´ll be there for 2 days and I´m not sure if the town is too small for internet...

Either way it´s great...I´ll be on my own and trusting God for wisdom only. It´s funny my Spanish is still really rough but I can´t wait to see what God wants to do here. This has been the only stop that´s really been planned in advanced. Afterwards it´s on to Quito and that seems to be in God´s plan as well.

Roberto if you´re reading this, I´ve got to say your family is great!

vaccinations and eye exams

Vaccinations and eye chart exams...that´s what I got to do this morning. The others were taking weight, height, medical history, and listening to lungs and hearts. We were at a very poor neighborhood on the outside of Guayaquil. Some people now have septic tanks but there´s no sewer so there is literally urine running down the road, trash everywhere, and half dead animals. Surprisingly the kids looked really well. The schools were all uniformed which probably helped the impression and the kids are padlocked in. You sure couldn´t do that with American fire standards! Trying to explain to kids what to read and ask questions about clarity was really challenging with my limited Spanish, but was still a great chance. And vaccinations were just fun and routine, that didn´t push my comfort zone at all.

Another thing I´ve noticed is how much harder it really is to listen and understand Spanish when your tired. It is incredibly exhausting to have that kind of concentration constantly. It is so tempting to just listen and not try to understand, but then you never know what´s just breezing by. It struck me that sometimes that´s what we do with God. Listening to him takes effort, not just going through the motions. It´s easy to sit a listen for the big things or the words we know but then we miss the context and everything that is intend for us. I was reminded of a passage in 1Kings19:11-13:

The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. (12) After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. (13) When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

It is hard, it´s tiring, but that´s what I want to do, I want to listen for the whisper and encourage you to do the same. The results are overwhelmingly amazing!! God bless!

Oh by the way we are in Riobamba now, and will be heading towards Tena and Puyo.

Estoy en Guayaquil

Well I made it to Ecuador...and I´ll praise God even for that. My first two rides to the airport didn´t pan out so last minute Mandy (Ross´s sister) took me in right before they had to go the opposite direction to Kenai. Talk about being a selfless and me learning how to accept and ask for help. So then on the 7 hour layover in Houston I was walking through the airport to kill time and on the other side there was my friend Daniel and his parents. They were on their way back from Quito, Ecuador where Daniel had just gotten released from the hospital. He´s got a little more time in American hospitals, check out Ross´s page www.rossbaldwin.blogspot.com if you want to hear the whole incredible story! Their flight got canceled so I got to spend even more time with them. I´m sorry he couldn´t finish the trip sooner, but was extremely happy to see him and pray with him and his parents. It was nice to have them wish me a good trip too, there´s been so many people who can´t believe I´m still going (OR HERE!!)

Of course my flight got delayed too but Ross, Roberto´s cousin, and a bunch of other people who I don´t know how are related were still there to pick me up. Thankfully Ross did the translating, after 30 hours of traveling I was fried. We spent the night at Roberto´s aunt and uncle´s house (WOW is the city loud-I´m not used to that) And this morning while being fed breakfast I listened to Ross explain in awesome Spanish how rich or poor in God´s eyes we were all equal. And how God listens to our heart. He told be about the Basillica church in Quito how the rich are up front because they are closer to God and the poor and indigenous people are in back since they are farther from God. Ross may have been sad by it, I´m just appalled but that´s the judgement thing I´ll have to work on. Ross has a connection at a children´s home I may go help at...not sure but we´ll most likely be on a bus tonight. A good parallel of how we need to rely on God is revealing itself to me practically now as I´m feeling completely out of place and having to rely on other people´s hospitality that I don´t know, humility in asking them to repeat stuff, and overwhelmed by Ross´s patience with me! I´m sure in a couple days I´ll be more accustomed, but I won´t forget the feeling of not being independent and will be able to apply it to my walk with God better than ever.

And for those who knew I was trying to get land...after being turned down for loan after loan, one company finally gave me some money at an extremely good interest rate. The catch was it had to arrive before I left for Ecuador or I lost the interest rate. Well it made it in Saturday´s mail and as I was frantically trying to transfer funds the company offer me even more which is now enough to cover the lot. (Providing it doesn´t sell before I get back) I´ve determined our God is a God who loves pushing deadlines! Halleluia!!

30 hours to go!

I have to say I never thought I'd write on a blog but I'm sure most people say that. And I must admit Ross is right (shh...don't tell him though), it is a nice way to let your friends and family know what you're doing and where you are without trying to remember a bunch of email address, figuring out who wants you to email, and then how often....So read or don't read at your leisure. I'm not sure what kind of internet access I'll find in Ecuador or how often, but I'll try to post what God's been doing.

I'm not sure where God's going to take me yet, but I do know I can't wait to be on only his time. Tuesday night when I was reviewing Phillipians for the women's bible study it seemed that the pages kept missing and landing on Ephesians 4 instead. Ever since I can't get the words out of my head.

"I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. "

With some conviction I realized that this meant in preparation for what we humanly consider the big stuff. Aside from working (a lot) I've been studying Spanish like crazy, and perhaps missing some friends or little things of life where he is also. So thank you, for those who showed up at the Worship Night Thursday. Thank you for your fellowship and your pursuit of all that is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable....thanks for coming together in His presense.

May God bless you and fill you with the peace only He can give.