Why do I trust people?

I don’t understand it. Neurologically it makes no sense whatsoever. But I study really well in a bar with wireless. I think it’s something about the complete over sensory stimulation that goes beyond irritation (causing a migraine) to just background noise that drives me to an intense concentration interrupted only by brief moments of people watching that reset my eyes from staring at the computer screen and going blurry. That being said, too many people (shoulder to shoulder) put me on edge, almost to the point of a panic attack, and I can’t really cope with that at all. I think it was kind of the same as emergency medicine, I did well at that except for the motion sickness in the back of the ambulance. However, the sicker the patient was, the less I was affected. Give me a taxi ride patient and when we got there the doctor would look at me like “who’s really the patient”; severe patient, no problem. I liked throwing out all the irrelevant and just focusing on the problem and the task at hand.

So here I am, at a bar for my once every three week routine. Just finished writing my community and behavioral health paper, one beer, and feeling really weird. Not saying that anything happened for sure, maybe I’m just more stressed than I thought and it affected me a lot sooner and different than I’m used to. That being said, why do I do this? I got up and went to the bathroom leaving my drink on the table when the bar is 75% full and I’m by myself. I’ve gotten ruffied before, twice for sure; you think I would have learned. As far as I have noticed, no one has spent an excess amount of time looking at me, but I’m an easy target. Always am. So why do I trust people? Why do I think people are inheritantly good despite experience? Is it a faith thing? I really don’t know, but I have faith that tonight will be okay anyway. Maybe if someone starts hitting on me I can tell them about God’s love (or just scare them away if they’re not ready yet). I know, strange way of think about it. Why do I trust people, even strangers, so much? …but back to physiology, maybe I’ll still remember how norepinephrine works through the haziness…