Risking Love

It’s been a while since I’ve had something really resonate with me while reading my bible. I hope that was only to really permanently drive home tonight’s lesson. For quite sometime I’ve been well aware of the risk required to love someone. I did not understand however the risk in loving God. How can loving God be a risk at all? He’s always there, will never leave, and loves us more than we could ever comprehend. How is there any risk at all?! And if there is no risk, why is it so hard to follow him as the bible tells us to? I’d get frustrated if I fell short somewhere, saying how can I love God more because obviously I don’t care enough or I wouldn’t struggle with that issue.

But the risk doesn’t come with love, it comes with trust. Trusting God when we don’t know his plan is tough and does take love. I read a short passage out of the Upper Room and it spoke about certainties in marriage…what doesn’t come with a warranty. It’s kind of silly to think of forcing God into a warranty. “Ok God, today I will feed the dog, smile at someone in traffic, and not cheat on my homework, but in exchange I want eternal life.” Talk about cheapening love and a gift. I was always confused on legalism and walking with God…I want to do what I should to please him and definitely don’t want to sin out-right. Yet if I focus on that and what I shouldn’t do isn’t that legalism?

So here’s my latest revelation…the time we spend planning and hitting checklists for a future payout without noticing the present is cheating God and us of that relationship. Think of it as a boyfriend who plans a big date with dinner and flowers with the only goal of getting in his girlfriend’s pants at the end of the night, never stopping once to enjoy the evening. (sorry guys, I know that happens the other way too) I think that is what we do to God when we try to narrow faith down into dos and don’t dos. Legalism is just like manipulating someone to get what you want. However if we stop trying to plan our good deeds, driving down the highway with blinders on, we may just end up pulling over to help someone with a flat tire and enjoying it. Think of it as a date with God, one where our time schedule interacts with His and leaves life interrupted and fulfilled. I really wish I could write better because it was a cool and new revelation, yet reading over it just seems like something I heard before. So I guess the question is really do we enjoy God's presence enough regardless of the circumstances that tomorrow doesn't matter?

Flying Tackle Hugs

Technically I should be working, studying, or writing my application essay right now, however I strive to minor in procrastination so instead you get to read about my day...

It is fairly pathetic that the most dangerous thing I do anymore is go to church. Sounds funny, but that is the only place I still need to wear my sling. And given my 100% injury aggravation rate at Change Point I should just stop going. Instead I got guilt tripped into an indoor playground full of 32 four and five year olds. I seem to have this really fun gift of little kids instantly liking me...no complaints there. (It would be really cool than if my school interview was done by five-year olds!) Anyway I was sitting on the floor playing dinosaurs relatively quietly with six of the kids when from out of nowhere this little boy comes flying through the air dead at me and wraps his arms around my neck knocking both of us over backwards. He had climbed up on one of the support beams with the express purpose of getting a swinging start to launch himself into my lap and give me a flying tackle hug. I have to say the kid has good aim. I pointed out my quite obvious sling and told him that we need to be careful not to hurt it anymore. To which he responds.."but I LIKE you." Okay, different approach...I then told him he could only attack my other side ..."but you're my friend" Now tell me how you can't laugh at that. I had only meet this little boy five minutes ago. I gave up and carefully watched to make sure he always stayed on my right side after that.

Don't ask me where this thought leap came from, but it seemed that usually friends are the ones that hurt you the most. Yet it's always worth it, easy to forgive, and usually ends up making you laugh too.